Name and Shame

fruit basket picture on flickr - click to see notes I made the rather unpleasant discovery the other day that the past three months of a totally sedentary lifestyle, leaving the flat only to go grocery shopping and occasionally to the cinema, and regularly eating chocolate and biscuits, have had a detrimental affect on my waistline.

Long term readers of the blog might recall my gym exploits of 2005. Well, I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t stepped foot in the gym since the middle of September when the whole thesis issue started to go down the pan. I haven’t even renewed my membership which lapsed in October.

*hangs head in shame*

Now, I haven’t completely lost all the ground I had gained in the first three quarters of 2005, but there has been definite slippage. I hadn’t realised/admitted this till I tried on my favourite (only) dress the other day and, whilst it still fitted, had to face a few bulges where previously bulges had been eliminated. Said weight gain would also explain the slight (but noticeable) cleavage increase, which means that, once again, expensive bras that fitted when purchased six months ago, no longer fit quite as well. Whilst there haven’t been any complaints about bigger breasts, I can’t afford new and roomier enclosures for the animals, so drastic measures need to be taken.

Time, I feel, to face facts and admit that I am lazy bum who needs to shed a few pounds. To this end, I have decided the only way to do this is to name and shame. The way I figure it, if I publically humiliate myself on this blog, it will give me that added impetus to actually stick to the plan.

Part one of the plan went into action today. See the basket of fruit picture at the top of the post? That’s what my new and healthy breakfast will consist of.

The following are my commandments. Whilst death will not follow if I do not follow them, disappointment in my self will, and I hate myself enough already thank you very much!

  • I will resist the temptation to buy chocolate, biscuits, ice cream, and other snack foods from the supermarket, on the principle that, if it’s not in the house, I can’t eat it (I have no self control).
  • I will eat a proper lunch and not snack between meals.
  • If I really want to snack, I’ll have a cup of tea.
  • If a cup of tea doesn’t do the trick, then I will eat a piece of fruit. I am not starving, even though my stomach might feel like my throat has been cut.
  • At the same time, I will not starve myself, and will eat sensibly. Not eating leads to low blood sugar, which leads to Cas randomly fainting, which leads to much embarrassment and unnecessary trips to A&E.
  • I will take the time and actually cook proper meals in the evening (with fresh vegetables).
  • I will go to the gym three times a week, minimum and (when I have bought a costume) go swimming regularly.
  • I will only take the lift up to the flat when I am in danger of bodily harm if I climb the stairs. Such circumstances include when carrying heavy items such as furniture. They do not include when I am feeling a bit tired after a hard days shopping or my legs feel a bit wobbly when I’ve come back from the gym.
  • I will not buy any new clothes till I can once again wear my one dress and not see bulges.
  • I will post regular updates on the blog. Not because I think my readers are interested, but because if I don’t and fail in my goals, Moose and the CC are the only ones going to be looking disapprovingly at me, and they no longer scare me.

I will make one more thing clear – my goal is to tone up, not to loose x number of pounds. I am never going to be skinny, I’m just not built that way, but the curves I do have need to be tamed some. With this ‘get fit’ goal in mind, not the ‘loose weight’ goal, I am aiming to do the Race for Life again this year and to run most of it, rather than fast-walk with short bursts of running like I did last year.

Oh, one last commandment:
I will not arbitrarily stop this program when I think I’ve got back to where I was in early September, I will keep going.

You, my blog minions, are here-by drafted to be my Diet Nazi’s and cheerleaders. Wish me luck!

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