Seriously. Where have they gone? I know they must exist because I see my friends hooking up left, right, and centre. So why am I stuck here, sitting alone on my double bed, writing a blog post when there are much more fun things I could be doing on my double bed?
I go out – every night this past week I was doing something. I have a social life, maybe not as thrilling as some, but still not crazy-cat-lady standards. I meet people. I meet men. Yet nothing happens.
I’m getting antsy here fellas!
There is nothing wrong with being single. Single is my default state, livened only by short periods of not-single, and I enjoy single. Independence means a lot to me, but just every now and then I’d like to be single through choice and not because it is the only option available. Or even someone to share that independence with occasionally, now there’s a daring thought!
Are my standards too high? Too right I’ve got high standards! I’m quality goods here! It’s not everyday you get a package like this – brains, damn cute smile, eyes that could stop traffic, a blog that (all honesty aside) kicks ass, and my breasts… Well, they are not unimpressive if I can say so myself.
So I carry a few extra pounds and have an inferiority complex the size of Outer Mongolia, but screw you if that matters! I’m 24, have a damn amazing screwball sense of humour, and just might surprise you… If you can’t see that then, well, your loss.
And, sadly, mine as well. I know you’re out there somewhere, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to turn half of Hampshire inside out just to find you.
I don’t ask for much. To be able to hold a conversation with me. To make me laugh. Not to mind when I write out our life for the delectation of the Internet masses. To just sit there and go ‘yes dear’ when I’m ranting on about something and nothing. If you’re not stomach churning to look at and are the owner of a good pair of collar bones then all the better.
But, alas, such paragons of manly virtue are very thin on the ground. All the men of my acquaintance are:
3) In another country. Been there, done that, several times. You’re gonna have to be extra-special goods to make me go there again. Or, you know, just real cute 😉
4) So bottom-feeder-ish that, well, come on. See my previous statements about my sheer goddess-ness! I’m just worth more.
Where are all the good men hiding, can someone tell me that? I’m not that scary. I promise not to shackle you to marriage, kids, and all that jazz. I just want someone to make me laugh and to be there when the day hasn’t gone quite to plan.
Oh, and the occasional bit of sex wouldn’t go amiss either.
Is that really too much to ask?