Originally uploaded by Hellblazer!.
You are looking at the blank space where the latest installment of Salt and Pepper Chess should be.
Why are you reading this words on the screen instead of hearing my dulcet tones spin you the most recent episode of the hapless Colin’s existence?
Because my dulcet tones, so much beloved by Josh, are currently missing. I sound, quite frankly, like a frog who’s smoked ten packs of fags a day for the past two decades. Or Keith Moon. I don’t mean Keith Moon but I’m a little high on Lemsip and can’t think of the singer I do mean. Someone with a suitably gravelly/croaky voice anyway.
Sexy in the movies; comical (and rather painful) in real life.
Luckily I made it through today’s launch event by the skin of my teeth and by dint of looking frantic and busy whenever someone tried to talk to me (not hard to do as I actually was frantic and busy) but I then got sent home at half four because I sounded “too pathetic and funny to be taken seriously”.
Which I thought was rather mean 🙁
I might have my voice back shortly, but going on past experience I’m likely to be playing host to the sandpaper-throat-gremlins for a good week or so, in which case don’t be holding your breath for Tristan’s efforts.
If anyone feels they have a voice that can do justice to the story, and of course Bright Meadow, do let me know and we might come to some arrangement. Minionhood of course. Undying love and devotion. Er… Immunity from the Ninja Penguins.
Nice things like that.
Oh, and the chance to have all the readers of Bright Meadow make fun of your accent, whatever it may be. Let’s not forget that 😉
Come on, 50p bet ya!