You’ll never know

You’ll never know this,
but I wanted your arms around me today.
I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry on your shoulder.
I wanted you to translate what they said.
That it was going to be OK.

You’ll never know this,
but I almost picked up the phone this morning.
I nearly called your voicemail, just to hear your voice.
I almost broke our rules.
So nearly asked for help.

You’ll never know this,
but I needed you holding my hand today.
I needed you to be there.
I was so scared this morning.
You should have been my rock.

You’ll never know this,
but I was in the doctors this morning.
They ran more tests.

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