Bright Cast: take six

Well, better late than never. It gives me great pleasure to bring you the lastest episode of the Bright Cast.

Due to my voice being on holiday lately, and Neko owing me one in order to get the Ninja Penguins off her back (that’ll teach the girl to tell the godhead about this blog!) I decided that not only am I no longer going to be writing content for the blog, I’m also no longer going to speak content for the blog. If I continue at this rate I’ll be able to retire from this blogging gig for good!

So I kidnapped Neko, tied her down in front of the microphone, and gave her the script that Tristan wrote.

Here’s one more lovely British lady for y’all to fall in love with:

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Evil Sandpaper Gremlins

Originally uploaded by Hellblazer!.

You are looking at the blank space where the latest installment of Salt and Pepper Chess should be.

Why are you reading this words on the screen instead of hearing my dulcet tones spin you the most recent episode of the hapless Colin’s existence?

Because my dulcet tones, so much beloved by Josh, are currently missing. I sound, quite frankly, like a frog who’s smoked ten packs of fags a day for the past two decades. Or Keith Moon. I don’t mean Keith Moon but I’m a little high on Lemsip and can’t think of the singer I do mean. Someone with a suitably gravelly/croaky voice anyway.

Sexy in the movies; comical (and rather painful) in real life.

Luckily I made it through today’s launch event by the skin of my teeth and by dint of looking frantic and busy whenever someone tried to talk to me (not hard to do as I actually was frantic and busy) but I then got sent home at half four because I sounded “too pathetic and funny to be taken seriously”.

Which I thought was rather mean 🙁

I might have my voice back shortly, but going on past experience I’m likely to be playing host to the sandpaper-throat-gremlins for a good week or so, in which case don’t be holding your breath for Tristan’s efforts.

If anyone feels they have a voice that can do justice to the story, and of course Bright Meadow, do let me know and we might come to some arrangement. Minionhood of course. Undying love and devotion. Er… Immunity from the Ninja Penguins.

Nice things like that.

Oh, and the chance to have all the readers of Bright Meadow make fun of your accent, whatever it may be. Let’s not forget that 😉

Come on, 50p bet ya!

Bright Cast: take five

Ok, so I have a new episode of the Bright Cast for your listening pleasure.

Finally! I hear you cry (or not. Perhaps you had forgotten it even existed. If that’s the case, you might want to familiarise yourself with past episodes).

The story for this one comes from Tristan. Tristan ended up reading Bright Meadow somehow a few weeks back and realised that he actually knew me. Odd how these things happen. Anyway, he seems to have stuck around, so yay! He’s a genius student by day, a crimefighting superhero by night, and he lives in one of my favourite cities (Bath). What more is there to say really, other than that he came up with an installment for Salt and Pepper Chess that quite literally had me falling off my seat in laughter.

Before you press play I should say one thing: I am not an actor. I suck at voices. And I have no idea why Les becomes Northern in the middle of the episode. As I said, I suck at voices.

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(If you decide to listen to it outside of Odeo on your iPod or something, apparently you’ll have a three second audio intro “to help spread the word about Odeo”. Why use Odeo to host this and not my own server? Because my own server sucks and I’m perilously close to exceeding my bandwidth again)

Now you’ve listened and (hopefully) enjoyed, please comment and let me and my group of dedicated story-writing minions what you think should happen next. If you don’t comment, well… There’s no way of knowing what will happen next 😉

(If you’d like a transcript of this episode, let me know).

BrightCast: Emergency Transmission

Before you say anything, yes I know this isn’t actually a podcast. I did try to record something, but I’ve drunk a glass of wine and the first thing to go is always my diction. You try saying “obligatory bigging-up of your blog” when you’ve downed a decent quantity of fine rose. So, because all appearances to the contrary I am quite easily embarrassed, I bring you the BrightCast in text form.

Well I was sitting here with a glass of wine, wondering what I would blog about this evening, when all of a sudden…

Hell no! I just realised it’s been 79 days since I brought you a new installment of the BrightCast. So much for my 2 weekly schedule… Um, sorry? I’d give you the usual excuses about how it’s time consuming to record and all that crap, but basically I’m lazy. I don’t like hearing my own voice so I record something ten times over till it is ‘perfect’, and I’m as uninspired as all mercy.

Any road, just the fact that a long period of time has passed should clue you in to one little thing – I haven’t the foggiest of an idea where to go next. Poor Colin has been left standing on the side of the road doing his best drowned rat impression for the past three months.

It’s time to admit it: I need help.

The idea always was that I’d write what happened next based on your comments and input. So far the comments and input have been… Slim on the ground. I do know that the limousine driver is called Les, and that he might, or might not, be a secret agent investigating global warming. This was Moose’s contribution. I seem to remember we were being very silly that evening. She did get penguins into her story-line though, so kudos.

Either way, lack of input from my readers means lack of ideas for Cas, and lack of ideas for Cas means nothing gets written.

So time for a change of tack. I’m throwing down the gauntlet to y’all – I’m looking for people to collaborate with me on this one. It could be you were providing the ideas. Might be you fancied writing an installment yourself. Maybe you’ve got a hankering to do some artwork that will inspire me. Something, anything, so long as I can get the BrightCast back into the ring for the next round.

What do you get for helping? Minionhood (if you aren’t a Minion already) of course. My undying love and devotion goes without saying. The honour of working with me and guesting on Bright Meadow should be a bit of a draw. I might even throw a surprise sweetener into the mix in the form of iTunes vouchers (or something) if it all works out. Oh, and there would be the obligatory bigging-up of your own blog as well. If you haven’t got a blog, well, tough – even I can’t big up what doesn’t exist!

So there you have it. Cas needs you. If you’re interested, drop me a line via the contact form, or on

And I’m not just looking for one person to help here either – this might be one of those times where the more is the merrier. At least till I work out if this whole playing with other people really works for me. I am honestly seeking your help here as I want Colin to have a story worthy of him, but I am doubting my ability to write that story on my own.

Please, I need some body. Not just any body. Help me get this story back off the ground?

Bright Cast: take four

Seeing as how my bluetooth keyboard has gone on the fritz, time for more of Colin’s story to save on the RSI.

Episode Three of “Salt and Pepper Chess: the Story of Colin”

To listen, just press the pretty pink button below (and be patient whilst it loads). For other instructions, or for the previous instalments of Colin’s Story, go to the the BrightCast page.

(And sorry for the dodgy sound quality. Something went a bit Pete Tong, but this was take twenty or something, and I just couldn’t face recording it again).

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If you enjoyed that, let me know what you want to happen next in the story. I can’t write this if you don’t give me ideas people!

(The germ of the idea for this part belongs primarily to Moose. And a TV advert. Blame them!)

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Bright Cast: take three

And I bring you the second installment of “Salt and Pepper Chess: the Story of Colin”.

This is as far as I’d got on my own, so please – comment and let me know where to go next!

Again, three ways to listen:
1) Go to the Odeo page and listen to the podcast via streaming there,
2) Go to the Odeo page, download the mp3 file and listen to the podcast whenever/whereever you want,
3) Press the pink button below and listen to the podcast via streaming all snuggled up happily in Bright Meadow.

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Bright Cast: take two

I am pleased to bring you the first installment of “Salt and Pepper Chess: the Story of Colin”.

You can listen in three ways:
1) Go to the Odeo page and listen to the podcast via streaming there,
2) Go to the Odeo page, download the mp3 file and listen to the podcast whenever/whereever you want,
3) Press the pink button below and listen to the podcast via streaming all snuggled up happily in Bright Meadow.

I’m still working the kinks out of this whole “recording my voice” shenanigans. And I’m trying to keep the installments below the 2 minute mark to keep them nice and small for download purposes (not everyone has shiny broadband you know).

Second episode tomorrow 🙂

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