Always keep your elephant on the lead

At least when you are in San Francisco.
Well, that’s what Moose says is the law there.

WARNING!
What follows is the first of my thesis-related rants. There will no doubt be many more over the next three months, but I’m starting as I mean to go on. Feel free to avert your gaze. On the other hand, watching the car-wreck that is my academic career is sure to prove amusing.

Sorry that it has been a few since I last blogged – my life has become taken over by wikis in the last week, and they are taking all my creative juices. Once you’ve got one set up 1. [and man is that proving to be a head ache!] they are surprisingly addictive. I installed Instiki on my Mac on Tuesday, and spent a gleeful five or so hours adding to it. As far as Mac’s are concerned, Instiki really is almost as easy as it claims to set up and use on the desktop. Due to firewall concerns, I can’t make it live to the world from halls sadly, but it is proving to be a great tool to help me plan/organise/work on the thesis, if a little slow.

Alas, things aren’t going quite so well with the wiki that I am attempting to get live via one of the lab computers. I am already starting to curse the day that the Godhead sent me an email saying “this topic would be perfect for you…” If it wasn’t hard enough to wade through the 100 or so different wikis out there to pick the one that best fits my requirements, I’m also in the midst of a crash course on servers, firewalls, law (the licensing and copyright agreements are hellish), and more programming languages than you can shake a medium-sized stick at.

Considering the last time I touched the command prompt on a windows computer, I was about six and Tim was charging me 50p a time for lessons in dos, I’ve got a bit of catching up to do! Yes, I know that admitting that means my geek-credentials are slipping, but to reassure you on that score, I did spend a merry five or so hours last night doing a redesign for Moose’s site, which she has no intention of using, just for the fun of it. At least I’ve proven 2. [nearly, still got some tweaks to get it working properly on IE] that you can do a site like hers without having to resort to tables nested to the nth degree. There was no point whatso ever in doing it, but I enjoyed it, found it relaxing, and it wasn’t wiki-related.

Then my darling brother asks the innocent question “wouldn’t it be easier to write your own wiki, especially as your requirements are a little… odd?”

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On sober reflection, I’m keeping that one for when (if) I ever get around to that PHd.

–update–
Apache is now running on the lab computer (hereafter referred to as MY computer)3. [It is mine in the sense that it has the programs I need installed on it, and I am permitted to turf anyone who uses it off when I need it. He he, the power!] The next step is to configure it, and the wiki of choice.

I repeat, ARG!!!!!!!!!

How about I poke it?

I have been tagged. No, not as painful as it sounds, though it did cause me to actually use my brain and come up with decent answers for once. I have no objection to responding to it because reading is one thing that I couldn’t do without. I had tried to do something along these lines back on the ‘Holm, but it has fallen on stony ground lately due to 1) no time and 2) the daunting prospect of telling people about the horrendous amount of books I read. On with the show/tig/tag, as requested by JB.1. [Who am I to deny the request of one of my more serendipitous random internet acquaintances?]

1) Total number of books I own:
Because I am a remarkably anal kind of person, and I had nothing to do one summer holiday when I was about 16, I actually made a spreadsheet to contain details of all the books I own.
And reading that sentence back does not make me sound any cooler.
Anyway, it is still going strong and (according to it), I have around 550 books on my shelves 2. [Split between the good old homestead back in Somerset, and here in S’oton.] There are also a good few hundred (I would estimate) in boxes in the loft, mainly books from when I was a kid that I am saving for whatever sprogletts might enter the family. As they won’t be coming from me, that means when my brother gets his act together, my potential nieces/nephews will have a lot to read. I really really dislike getting rid of books, so that number is only going to grow, I am sure.

2) The last book I bought:
Being a student I don’t have all that much cash to spend, so I tend to use the local libraries a lot.
I did just shell out money on “The Long Way Round” by Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman as a gift for the Crazy Canalman (Farv).
For me, I think it was “The Poet” by Michael Connelly, when I saw a copy going cheap at my favourite local cheap bookstore, in order to feed my Michael Connelly binge. I also recently purchased “Going Postal” by Terry Pratchett, and “The World Since 1945” by T.E. Vadney so I can better understand the historical context behind the sci-fi I read (though the Latvian Lovely has got more use out of it for her Jewish History MA than I have).

3) The last book I read:
In an attempt to make this more representative of my reading tastes, here are the last two I read, one silly, one serious.
“Venus” by Ben Bova – not his best, but still a wonderful romp through space, filling in some of the blanks in what happened to some characters after the Asteroid Wars series.
“Wild Boy” by Jill Dawson – amazing. Woke up saturday morning around 8am, picked it up, started to read, next time I looked at the clock it is 1230, and I’ve finished the book. A tale of a savage ‘wild boy’ found in France just after the Revolution, and how he is looked after by a doctor who, for the time, is enlightened. It is remarkably poignant, especially when it is clear to us, the modern reader, that the boy is autistic not, as the thinkers of the time thought, in some ‘natural’ state that could show them the true nature of humanity. Based on a true story.

4) Five books that mean a lot to me:
Limiting this to five is going to be hard. I wouldn’t say any of these books changed my life, but they are the ones that I will pick up and read again, and again, and again… My desert island books if you will.
(oh and, like JB said, the numbers are not ranking, they’re so I can keep my head straight.)

  1. “Cryptonomicon” by Neal Stephenson – either my father or my brother are responsible for this one, for which I am grateful. Impossible to put it into a category but if I had to choose just one book, this would be it. His other works, especially the Baroque Cycle books, are also genius. The man can get ‘bop’ and ‘prod’ into historical novels.
  2. “Neuromancer” by William Gibson – showing my cyber-punk credentials with this one, aren’t I? As with many of the books I read, I have my brother to thank for putting this in my path. That, and a day in Brooklyn when the AC broke down, and it was too hot to do anything other than sit and read.
  3. “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley – read this for GCSE english and I am so glad, because it is so good.
  4. “The Blind Assassin” by Margaret Atwood – each time I read this, I get something new, and the ending always comes as a surprise. Along with “Handmaid’s Tale”, this is one of Atwood’s best books.
  5. “Hamlet” by Shakespeare – can’t miss the Bard from the list, can we? I can’t put my finger on why, but this is my favourite of his plays. It was also my great aunt’s favourite play, and she was an English teacher for nearly 60 years, so I must have good taste 🙂

If the list is heavily stacked in favour of sci-fi/post-apocalyptical/cyber-punk, then I am sorry… No, I’m not. That’s my taste and I won’t apologize for it. I do read other stuff, but when forced to pick just five, those came to mind first. Some more books I want to share to be found at the ‘Holm book reviews page.

5) Tag five people and have them fill this out on their blogs:
Without doubt the hardest part of this whole process, for I am what might be described as somewhat voyeuristic in my surfing habits. I have lots of blogs that I read on a regular basis, but few I participate in. I can’t tag JB because he tagged me first, so it would have to be:
Moose because she reads a fair bit as well and, since I cracked the footnote problem, I need something else on this blog to annoy her.
Jess if she ever manages to fight free of real life long enough, because I know she liked the Da Vinci Code3[I couldn’t talk about books without at least mentioning it!], and I would like my faith in her good taste restored!
That leaves three. Um, well, if Jason would care to respond, or Jeff4 [At this point it might be wise to inform this individual that he is referred to as ‘Jeff’ on the blog, but since when have I ever been wise?]and the Cute Canadian, then it would be OK. I’d ask the Scouse One, but who knows when he’ll poke his nose into this blog.

correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?

There just aren’t enough words…

Suica commercial

Eternal love and devotion to JB for finding this. I can now die happy.

On a similar penguin-in-advertising note, I’ve just remembered the penguins in the Switch/Maestro advert, and in the recent Oasis advert1. [Not totally sure if I mean Oasis, but it is some form of drink that is meant to be refreshing, that I am allergic to, and that has a humorously inappropriate penguin.]

Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land

Let the games begin! I think that I have cracked sidenotes/footnotes, at least for those of you with happy browsers 1. [By happy browsers, I mean Firefox, Safari, and anything else that supports CSS3.]
Everyone else 2 [Namely, Moose, which is a bit unfortunate considering that I started looking into this fix mainly to keep her happy…] will see them inline between [] brackets. Fingers crossed!

This does have the disadvantage that I can no longer be annoying and force people to scroll down to the bottom of a long post, and then back up again. I am sure that if I think long and hard enough I will be able to come up with something equally as annoying. Just give me time.

Now, I really really would appreciate feedback on this little innovation 3 [I do wish that I could take full credit for the solution, but the idea, and some of the basic coding, belongs to Ben Hammersley and Andreas Bovens]. IE – does it work for you?! I can see me tweaking it for some time to come till I get it just right. For example, it’s been live for five minutes and I’ve already come across one problem that could see me scrapping the whole idea entirely. The current method relies on creating anchors between the number and the sidenote, which is fine if it was just one post per page, but it isn’t, so I have had to adopt a clunky alpha-numeric system to distinguish between posts. Not elegant at all. Hmmmm. -brain goes off to do some thinking on the subject-

sadly i’m not good at rejection. you’re going to have to die

Once again, the will to blog has temporarily left me, so I am going to fall back on the old faithfuls of random snippets of information.

  • The Mystery Its (mentioned in conjunction with the post shortly after May 8th, that Moose gave me for my unofficial birthday) are actually the Clive’s (Chives). They are doing nicely. Sadly, the Basil’s aren’t doing so well. Fred is dead, Barney is hanging in there, and Whilma is doing the best of the bunch, but isn’t looking as healthy as she could do. Not surprising seeing as how I am one of the least green-fingered people I know. I can just about keep spider plants alive, but that’s it. Sad, when you think I am descended from two wonderful gardeners. Granddad had a garden to die for, whilst my Mum just has to look at a plant and it thrives. I even managed to kill the cactuses I had when I was a kid 🙁
  • My lecturers are starting to use phrases that make me think they are aliens impersonating the Great Dave and Graeme the Godhead: Yikes! and Groovy! respectively. Odd. Very odd. To think these people command the respect of a large portion of the archaeological community.
  • On a related topic, my thesis is officially started, with my supervisor rubbing his hands in excitement like a little schoolboy. Not literally of course, but in my head… My enthusiasm on the other hand has run away and is hiding in the corner gibbering.
  • Because we all need a laugh – Dancing Hugh. It’s just a clip from Love Actually, but the Fan Club’s name is amusing. In fact the whole thing is just funny. I have independent verification of this. It’s not just me being silly. Ah, the beauty of random blogs…
  • My sense of humour, whilst warped, rarely lets me down, so trust me on the following: A Threadbared Epic: “Barbie & Ken – Living In A Crocheted Paradise”. I repeat. Trust me.
  • So totally hypnotic: Pencil Clock. One of these days I want to see it go from one day to the next.
  • Aren’t you glad that I have had nothing to do today bar trawl the internet?
  • He’s 82, and blogging with the best of them. My mother is… not that old… and can’t remember how to turn her shiny MacMini on. Odd, really.
  • Ok, so some people do complain about pylons as well as windfarms (if you didn’t read the Lost Posts, then you’re missing out on a peach of a related rant…)
  • Ten things everyone should know about digital cameras.

In other more Cas-related news, the Cute Canadian, Moose, and myself went to see Sin City on Monday. I enjoyed it. Not as much as I was expecting to, alas. Truly stunning visually (possibly worthy of an oscar nod, or some form of award at least), and acted to perfection. I will never look at Frodo in quite the same way again! (Elijah Wood plays a mute psychopathic ninga-style cannibalistic killer, for those of you who haven’t seen the film). On the down side, the heavy voice over that works perfectly in graphic-novel style seemed forced, and there were parts that were just too faithful to the comics. The middle section with Dwight (Clive Owen) and the killer prostitutes seemed unnecessary, and the rest seemed a little jumbled. Definitely glad I saw it, and the gore wasn’t overpowering as I was worried it might be: in fact, to quote one critic, a very empowering film for a woman, considering the number of testicles that were chopped/shot off, and the way the female characters generally kicked collective ass. Trying to decide on a rating is a hard one: not quite a two and half penguins, but at the lower end of the three penguin scale.

The other film we saw this week was The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse. Now, I am probably one of the few students in this country who wasn’t slavishly devoted to the series. The bits I watched I liked and found funny, but it wasn’t really by thing. I do admit its true genius in totally subverting the meaning of the word ‘Local’ for me for ever more though. So, whilst looking forward to the film, I was prepared not to mind if it was a bit pants. I liked it! Some genuine laugh-out-loud moments, so proper ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww moments as you have come to expect from the League, and a plot farcical enough to keep a Python happy. On the downside, possibly a few more characters and confusion than really needed, and in places it seemed a little forced. Worth the money though. Firmly in the middle-to-upper three penguin range.

The Lost Post – 3

it was assumed he had died: where he’d been last seen there was a large crater

I tried to read another Clive Cussler book this weekend – why, you might ask? Well, I was on the boat, had only taken one book with me, and had finished it by halfway through the first day. As I have read practically every other book my father has on the boat (if you discount the ones about Winston Churchill this leaves about five novels) many times before, I finally had to resort to “Fire Ice” by the infamous Cussler. He wrote this one with another author, which might explain the (even for Cussler) unbelievable plot and atrocious writing. The blurb on the back goes as follows:

“On the shores of the Black Sea, Kurt Austin and the NUMA team discover an abandoned submarine base commandeered by a mining tycoon who claims Romanov ancestry. (You with me so far?) Backed by his incredible wealth, the tycoon has proclaimed himself Czar of Russia. (Still keeping up?) His determined to overthrow the already shaking Russian government (You with me, there at the back?) – and he has a terrifying surprise in store for the Americans that will ensure they don’t interfere. But standing in his way are Kurt Austin and the NUMA team…”

Dun dun duuuuuuuh! -suspenseful music plays-I seem to remember trying to read this book last time I was on the boat and giving up after the first chapter in disbelief. This was before I had read Sahara, and other works, by Cussler. This time I managed the first page. Why, oh why, do I keep doing this to myself? Am I really such a glutton for literary punishment? Am I expecting Cussler to suddenly produce a witty, insightful, and brilliantly crafted book? Or am I waiting till he crosses over to the other side and is amusing in his badness. I think it is the stubborn part of me that refuses to give up on people that makes me give him a second, third, fourth chance… I like trash as much (perhaps more) than the next person, so long as the next person isn’t Moose with her delight in god-awful films. I can appreciate pulp fiction with the best of them. I gleefully gobble every Phillipa Gregory romp I can get my hands on (throwing the last one out of the window was unintentional, I assure you, and had no bearing on my enjoyment of the book). They are my guilty little pleasures, the trash fantasy, the blindingly obvious science fiction, the historical romances, and I wouldn’t trade them for all the Booker winners in the world. Attwood aside, as a rule I get more enjoyment out of most trash than I do from serious ‘literature’. Just, what is it that keeps me coming back to Cussler? Am I that much of a masochist?

Lost Post – 2

when you die it’s not a major career problem

Well, we’ve had the post-about-something post, which just leaves the odds-and-sods posts that are starting to become far too much of a fixture. They’ve even started to colonize Moose’s site. Evil I tell you… Seeing as how I am just too lazy/tired/grumpy/in pain/insert appropriate adjective here to write another proper post that links all the disparate threads into one, you’re just going to have to lump it.

I’m in the middle of a Ben Bova binge at the moment (the Michael Connelly binge is on hold till I can get the rest of his books from the library). In a few days there might be a review of ‘Moonrise’ at least. But before I forget, here are a few thoughts. As ever, Bova writes what I consider to be the best form of science-fiction: a great story that also tells us much about the situation we find ourselves in today. It was written in 1996 (remember my rant on the need to understand the climate a book was written in?) and focuses a lot of thought on the problem of nano-tech. For nano-tech, read any scientific advance, most especially genome technology/stem-cell research/cloning etc that is currently causing Bush a few sleepless nights. More importantly, that is causing the scientists who need Federal funding to keep going, more than a few sleepless nights. I won’t go into it at length – this isn’t the review after all – but Bova sure knows what he is talking about. Wonderfully descriptive, the way he has the American government taken over behind the scenes by strictly Conservative Christian interest groups… Scratch “wonderfully descriptive” and put “scarily too believable. I want to emigrate to the Moon, now!

Ok, so in the interests of keeping the peace, and because I agree that the current way I footnote is just NOT working, I am looking into this solution, or a tweak thereof. Not sure how happy blogger is going to be about the idea, and all of you without good browsers are going to suffer, nor am I sure when (if ever) I will get it working. I am thinking about it though, and now I have time to breathe again, something might come of it. Or not. Wait and see.

Karl Kennedy came to Southampton – this little piece of news is courtesy of Bimbo Star, though how she, in deepest darkest Fen-land, knows more about what is going on at my Union than I do is another matter. He has a band, called “Waiting Room” (oh, so funny, seeing as how he plays a doctor in Neighbours…) and they are doing a UK tour at the moment. Woot. Had a quick look-see at his site, and it turns out that Southampton isn’t quite important enough to get a gig from the full band – we just get Alan Fletcher (that’s Dr Karl to you, me, and the cat). Also, they’re doing a gig ‘NEAR LONDON!!!’ (their exclamations, not mine). This turns out to be in Reading. Ok, so when you’re from a country the size of Australia, Reading must seem within throwing distance of London, but it is still 44 miles (Multimap says you can drive it in an hour. I think that that is wishful thinking). If you want a laugh, then go to his site and download the song “Perfectly Comfortable”. It was written in response to the Iraq war, you know. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am off to scrub my hard-drive clean of any evidence that I ever downloaded “Perfectly Comfortable”. -shudder-

I’m starting to have to think about what sort of jobs I want to apply for in the autumn when I can no longer afford to be a student. How, I wonder, do you get a job as head of futurology? The article. Best bit, “It is possible to make a conscious computer with superhuman levels of intelligence before 2020. It would definitely have emotions – that’s one of the primary reasons for doing it. If I’m on an aeroplane I want the computer to be more terrified of crashing than I am so it does everything to stay in the air until it’s supposed to be on the ground.”

Dinosaurs and Man in the same museum. -said in a tired sigh- no, no, no, no, no. Please. Some commonsense! My archaeological spidy senses are tingling! Lol though. The site does explain that Noah would have chosen juvenile dinosaurs to save space. Well, at least commonsense hasn’t completely deserted the American psyche. Yet. Apparently they are looking for a site to open a version of the museum in the UK. I wish them luck, if only because I need a good laugh! Let me just put on my archaeologists/biologist hat here. Yes, we have no ‘proof’ for evolution a la Darwin, but there is an even smaller body of evidence supporting the theory as proposed by these people. If you read nothing else, read the bit on “dinosaurs in the bible” – apparently the British are to blame for the centuries old belief that there were no dinosaurs in Eden. We translated the Bible wrong. Our bad, sorry.

2000 more wind turbines. Good. I like wind turbines. I have a few doubts about their efficacy, but at the same time, anything is better than most of the current forms of generating energy (coal and nuclear to name but two). I even think they are rather snazzy to look at, and find people’s objections that they will ‘spoil our green and pleasant land’ just a little silly – do they think that the huge pylons marching all over the countryside look good?

It really does amaze me the things that people can put up with, whilst at the same time make a totally insane fuss about something else that will have a similar visual impact on them (less, considering the tiny portion of the population that lives in the areas that are windy enough for wind-farms). Grrr. There are times when I want to knock sense into the minds of the great British public. There are times we’re like Americans – individually, we’re wonderful. Put us together, and boy do we suck! Quote for you (from Melvyn Bragg) “the freedom to roam around in an unspoilt landscape is vital”. I repeat. Grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lived in the frelling countryside for the first twenty-odd years of my life, and I love it still, but it is already ‘spoilt’ by pylons and tv transmitter masts. Try telling people that they will have to do without television because the transmitter on the Mendips has been deemed an eyesore and is coming down. (The thing is butt-ugly. Tall enough to need warning lights on it so planes don’t fly into it, and right on the ridge-line where it can be seen for more miles than you can shake a stick at). I can pretty much guarantee that fairly quickly we’ll have (a) an alternative way of transmitting television successfully to everybody, (b) a lobby of local residents saying that it would be infringing on their rights to remove it, (c) oh, I am too tired to think of a full list, but you get the idea of what I am trying to impart: The ‘not in our backyard’ approach. Everyone agrees we need alternative energy sources, but no one wants to stare it in the face. You can be pretty certain that the people living near Hinkley Point (me, for one) would be a lot happier if they didn’t have an environmental hazard waiting to happen (Chernobyl anyone?) on their doorstep. And don’t get me started on the hassle Peter and Janny have had trying to get solar power to the Farm (though that rant is more to do with the idiocy of certain listing restrictions and shortsightedness of local planning officers).

Update: Moose just informed me that it took her three months or more before she noticed the wind turbine that got put up on the outskirts of Toronto. It is amazing what we can choose to blot from our view if we want to.

Just introduced Jeff to Sweet (glam rock at its silliest and best, have to love a band who can sing a song about the invention of the telephone and make it fun). Mwhahahahaaa. He walked home quietly singing “Alexander Graham Bell” to himself. I repeat, mwhahhahahaaa…