I can’t find the source right now, but I did read somewhere recently that 38% of women have a secret crush on someone at work. Damn it. I finally have to admit that just once in my life, I’m following the herd. Right now I’m going to do something about it and tell everyone. Yes, I know that by plastering it over the internet it is no longer secret, but so what? The internet has played a significant part of my life so far, so why not now? Plus, by sharing it’s no longer secret, so I stop being a wooly sheep and become the kooky individual you all know and love once more.
I shall take a moment before we go any further to clarify the lingo that are used here on Bright Meadow; RLO stands for “Random Lust Object”. RLO’s by definition are random. You never know when they are going to appear and brighten up your day. By the same definition, RLO’s can never go beyond a mild “ooh, he’s rather pretty to look at…” because they never around long enough to even contemplate anything more. RLO’s are on a par with movie stars (only normally more, well, normal looking) in how they affect your daily life.
EDLO’s are where it starts to get a little sticky.
EDLO’s are “Every Day Lust Objects”. It’s all in the name.
There are degrees of crush which range from “wouldn’t push you out of the bed in the morning” all the way through to “I want to have your babies”. I am, and I must reassure all concerned here, nearer to option one than to option two but still… The presence of an EDLO makes work better and worse all at the same time. Better because it’s always nice to have something nice to look at. Worse because there really are times that a “nice personality” and a “cute hiccup” just aren’t enough to compete with leggy, blonde freshers. C’est la vie. C’est MY vie.
It’s one thing to flirt mildly with an RLO because – hello, random! When you have the self esteem of a battered slug * it’s quite another to even engage an EDLO in normal conversation. Plus I’m about as transparent as cling-film or something else that is very transparent. Glass maybe? Just once in my life I’d like to be enigmatic. Channel some of that Audrey Hepburn nonchalance.
Neh, I’m not thin enough to pull off Audrey Hepburn. But you know what I’m shooting at, right?
I know exactly what I’m doing here. I’m shooting for the moon because I know it will never happen. It’s so much easier to talk about the life I would like to live rather than to actually live the life. And as I’ve said a time or three, it’s nice to look and to dream 😉
So yes, I’ve been cursed/blessed with an EDLO at work. It makes for great conversations down the pub of an evening – all my friends berating me (yet again) and telling me what I should be doing, me trotting out all the same tired old excuses I’ve been trotting out for the past decade. It makes for great blogging material. It makes for damn hard wardrobe choices in the morning.
I shall end this by asking the following: why the frack do I always look my absolute worst when he walks in in the morning looking absolutely scrumptious in those battered jeans?
* Why a battered slug? No reason, I just think that a battered slug would have low self esteem.