The life cycle of a project

Before I go any further, I just want to check something
Can I say the 'F' word?

OK, now we’ve got that sorted, it’s like this… My day is filled with lots of projects. Some projects are quick and easy and go exactly according to plan. Others are more complex. Each project, however, begins with a client call in which I say this a lot:
As you wish
Because the client is always right.

Despite knowing that the client is always right, it’s not uncommon to put the phone down, turn to a colleague, tell them the requirements, and have them go:
You have GOT to be kidding

A quick review of the project brief shows that no, the client is not kidding, so I have my drink (of tea) and knuckle down to the task ahead of me. This involves interacting with lots and lots of lovely people from all over the world and from many differing backgrounds. Most of the time this is just dandy. But it can also (often) lead to moments of sheer disbelief at ones fellow humans:
David Tennant look of disbelief

It’s usually about now in the project that the client gets in touch and says something that is completely opposed to everything they’ve said up till this point. All you can do is sit there and take it.
Castle oh... wait...

Whilst trying not to verbalise your real thoughts.
internally screaming

But I shake it off, and do my job, because I am like a ninja at this shit.
Time for some thrilling heroics

And I do. I pull that damn rabbit out the proverbial on a regular basis (see previous ninja reference), and the project merrily pootles along and all the client feedback is positive. Everything is sweetness and light and you’d be forgiven for thinking the project was pretty much done. Good job.

Oh, my young padawan *shakes head*
You'd think a girl would learn

No. This is when the phone rings again and it’s… Not quite the news you have been lead to expect. Naturally, a reaction similar to this is excusable:
You're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding.

Sadly, the client isn’t kidding. All that work? Poof.
I'm gonna need another drink to forget I just heard that

I’m tempted to do something like this on a fairly regular basis:
Papers in the air

But I work in a paperless office, and I’m not sure the digital equivalent is quite as acceptable to the boss.
Smash the computer

And really, no matter how tempting, guns are never the answer.
The hills are alive

Instead, you grin and bear it. Because the client is always right. Always. Right. And they say “But good news, there’s something else you can help us with…”
This face? Right here? My over-the-moon face

And the whole thing begins again.

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