Because y’all seem to be laboring under the misapprehension that I’m a wonderful person…

1. I hog the duvet. I’m a little person, but I do like to be warm. I never did learn to share nicely…
2. I drink orange juice straight from the carton. To be fair, I don’t do this when it’s communal orange juice but when I know it’s just me who’s going to be drinking it, why make extra washing up?
3. I molt. A lot. Get used to your friends thinking you own a very hairy dog/cat/pet.
4. I will refuse to get out of bed till you’ve brought me a cup of tea. I’m perfectly capable of getting up and making it myself, but why should I stir from my warm cocoon if there’s someone else to do it for me?
5. I have an appalling taste in music. I gleefully listen to 5ive and Shakira at full blast.
6. I have a habit of listening to just one or two tracks on a loop throughout the day. I normally only do this for the first few days I own a new track/cd, but it can get a bit wearing.
7. Interrupt me when I’m deep in a book and you are likely to get glared at. If I don’t just ignore you.
8. Hell hath no fury like a Cas rushed. Don’t try and do it – all that will happen is I’ll get grumpy and you’ll get something thrown at you.
9. Be prepared to always be 30 minutes early for everything. See previous point regarding rushing – I also hate to be late. I like to know there’s time built into the itinerary just in case anything happens, like a herd of stampeding penguins disrupts traffic or something. Well, it could happen.
10. I will loudly point out any and all factual errors in archaeological programs and films. Do not sit through The Mummy with me unless you’ve come prepared with a gag.
11. Don’t get me started on how Indiana Jones isn’t really an Archaeologist…
12. And mentioning Time Team is only recommended if you want to commit suicide.
13. They may just be earrings to you, but to me they are armor. Like Samson without his hair, take my earrings from me and I am nothing.
14. I’m freakishly insecure.
15. I have the memory retention of a brain injured goldfish.
16. To my credit I’m aware of this, so will constantly ask you to “remind me about this…”
17. Invariably the one thing you’ve forgotten to remind me about, will be the one thing I remember. I will, of course, then ask you why you never reminded me about it.
18. I don’t let people in.
19. Don’t leave the toilet seat up. Just don’t, ok?
20. If you ask my opinion on something, you will get my opinion. I’m not known for my ability to sugar coat things. I’m sorry if I made you cry, but you did ask.
21. I am inherently lazy. Unless you give me a good reason I will likely just pootle around the house all day in my PJs.
22. I’m noisy. Stealth is not in my makeup anywhere.
23. Heaven help you if you wake me up. If you must wake me up, make sure that nice warm cup of tea in your hand is the first thing I see when I open my eyes.
24. I can’t stand Marmite.
25. Or mushrooms.
26. Stupid people annoy me. I know I should have more patience, but I just don’t.
27. I find most things funny. I can see the humour even in the normally serious stuff. I think this is a good thing, but it does annoy and confuse some people.
28. I’m the blondest brunette you’re likely to meet in a while. There’s a brain in there somewhere, it just has a tendency to hide.
29. I can’t take a compliment.
30. I treat my life like one big joke but really, it’s not.
31. I have my butter with toast, not the other way around.
32. I have a tendency to make people spend lots more money than they planned on when they go shopping with me.
33. I’m a nightmare to shop with – I know exactly what I want and refuse to compromise.
34. I hate crowds.
35. And I’m crap at keeping in touch with people.

Yes, I’m a bad person. Still think I’m cute?

It’s not every essay you get to write the line “Carter is using the language of sex, domination and cruelty”. Or talk about how the pure virgin snow is just begging to be sullied and trampled upon.

*takes brain out the back and subjects it to a mercy killing*

I should be able to think of snow without having to wash my brain out afterward!

Have I mentioned lately how I loathe violently feminist literature and that I hate how I am forced to write such lines?

Unfortunately, when you’re discussing Angela Carter and have an essay question like “In what ways does Carter use language to present male and female in ‘The Snow Child’?” you kind of have to talk about violation, virile members, and all other icky stuff that I really don’t want to have to discuss in class thank you very much.

I’m clearly a post-feminist in that I actually like men. Oh, for the question “Carter’s feminist stance is as applicable in 2006 as it was in the 1970’s when she wrote – discuss”.

*grumble, grumble*

Back to my essay. 661 words at the last count and that’s not even proper sentences. Bloody 500-word-limit. *grumble part 2*

*EDIT* Clearly also post-feminist in that I can’t spell.

Just to let you know I’m off for the weekend – I expect to be back late afternoon/early evening on Sunday, so whether there will be a Roast or not is 50/50.

If you need to get hold of me and are one of the lucky few who have my mobile number, use that. If not send me an email and I *will* respond when I get home 🙂

Have fun with your own weekends. Toodles.

Some things I’ve learnt in the past few weeks:

• There are 7 million adults in the UK who have a criminal conviction and are in work.
• 83% of these are male.
• 25 is the age when most of them stop offending.
• The most commonly reported crime is vandalism.
• In 2004/2005, the police detected only 26% of reported crime.
• In April 2006, 679,000 job vacancies were reported to the DWP.
• 40% of these were classed as “hard to fill”.
• The main reason HR professionals give for not employing an offender is that they feel they are risking their career.
• The main reason HR professionals give for considering an offender for a job is that they have the right skills for that job.
• 70% of offenders have a literacy rate below that of a nine year old.
• Getting offenders into education and employment reduces re-offending by up half to two-thirds

*EDIT* Got figures wrong for reducing re-offending rate. They were even better than I remembered.

Apparently I’m a feisty wench.

I was assured this was a compliment but I’m having my doubts…

In class this evening we first looked at a section of dialogue from Sense and Sensibility (the bit where Lucy Steele tells Eleanor Dashwood that she’s secretly engaged to Edward Ferras) and because the rest of my class are chickens I ended up with the part of Lucy. The teacher noted she didn’t mind picking on me because I have no problem reading aloud.

Anyway, my little turn as Lucy earned me a few thumbs up (I do my best) and then we turned to Much Ado.

The teacher introduced the various characters in the first few pages: Leonarto; the Messenger; Hero; and Beatrice. I’ve always had a soft spot for Beatrice as she has some gumption. As the teacher described her, she’s witty, intelligent, fast and brave. She sparkles on the page, giving as good as she gets.

Kinda like myself 😉

Then came the time to assign parts. As already mentioned, most of the people in my class are cowards, refusing to speak up or read sections. I wouldn’t have minded taking the part of Beatrice because she’s fun, but I’d already done my bit that class. Whilst I am a brazen hussy who’s overly fond of her own voice and isn’t afraid to speak up, I don’t want to take over.

After much silence, the tutor assigns the roles of Leonarto and the Messenger, then comes to Beatrice. Silence.

The P chimes in with “Oh, you do it Cas – you’re a feisty wench”.

Clearly, I’ve made more of an impression in that quarter than I’d figured (yay! 😉 ) but really – feisty wench?! He rapidly followed it with a “in a good way! It’s a good thing!” when most of the class just stared at him. I just dissolved into giggles.

Honestly, what kind of impression are people getting of me?! I’ve been called a few things online a time or three – mainly comments about my gutter-like brain and sheer inability not to flirt – but no one’s pegged me quite so succinctly in an offline setting before. Well, at least they’ve never said it to my face.

Feisty wench indeed.

Nothing quite like spending the day in a room with a group of people hating you to really make you feel 🙁

I love my job, I really do, but there are days when you feel you’re bashing your head against a brick wall.

Happy November every one 🙂

I really couldn’t be arsed to type this post, hence the audio format. Enjoy.

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