Evil Sandpaper Gremlins


Originally uploaded by Hellblazer!.

You are looking at the blank space where the latest installment of Salt and Pepper Chess should be.

Why are you reading this words on the screen instead of hearing my dulcet tones spin you the most recent episode of the hapless Colin’s existence?

Because my dulcet tones, so much beloved by Josh, are currently missing. I sound, quite frankly, like a frog who’s smoked ten packs of fags a day for the past two decades. Or Keith Moon. I don’t mean Keith Moon but I’m a little high on Lemsip and can’t think of the singer I do mean. Someone with a suitably gravelly/croaky voice anyway.

Sexy in the movies; comical (and rather painful) in real life.

Luckily I made it through today’s launch event by the skin of my teeth and by dint of looking frantic and busy whenever someone tried to talk to me (not hard to do as I actually was frantic and busy) but I then got sent home at half four because I sounded “too pathetic and funny to be taken seriously”.

Which I thought was rather mean πŸ™

I might have my voice back shortly, but going on past experience I’m likely to be playing host to the sandpaper-throat-gremlins for a good week or so, in which case don’t be holding your breath for Tristan’s efforts.

If anyone feels they have a voice that can do justice to the story, and of course Bright Meadow, do let me know and we might come to some arrangement. Minionhood of course. Undying love and devotion. Er… Immunity from the Ninja Penguins.

Nice things like that.

Oh, and the chance to have all the readers of Bright Meadow make fun of your accent, whatever it may be. Let’s not forget that πŸ˜‰

Come on, 50p bet ya!

6 thoughts on “Evil Sandpaper Gremlins

  1. Cas: you have, right here, a good-for-once-only offer from me to record every single line of dialogue in episode 5, assuming none of it’s changed since I wrote it.

    Let me know!

  2. And in a ‘ maybe it’ll make it up for letting on to the godhead’ maneuver, I humbly volunteer.

    I’ve been told that I have a nice reading voice, and I keep seeing pengiun shaped shadows out the corners of me eyes……

    Poor Cas! Sounds like you have whatever bug is going round our lovely little corner of the world. I had it for ALL of October.

    Neko

  3. Tristan, my thanks for the offer, but it really wouldn’t be fair having you write the thing *and* read it.

    Josh, thank you πŸ™‚ It is a little better today – still rough around the edges but I no longer cause my colleagues hilarity when I speak (unfeeling bunch πŸ˜› )

    Neko – you’re on! Shoot me an email or snaffle me via IM and we shall discuss. *mwhahaha*

  4. IÒ€ℒd say if it was one of them instead of you, youÒ€ℒd be laughing, too

    No I wouldn’t, because I’m nice πŸ˜›

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