Pen snobbery

fountain pen.JPG

I’ve just realised something about myself: I am a pen snob.

I rarely hand write things these days and when I do I normally just grab any old biro that’s lying around. When I’m taking notes in class my weapon of choice has always been a Pilot V5. It has smooth flowing ink, lasts a long time, feels nicely balanced in the hand, and has the added advantage that I can use it to sketch on the rare occasions I feel so inclined. After bitter experience I’ve found it’s also the one pen I can rely on my handwriting being (more or less) legible in.

When I write letters however, I prefer to use a fountain pen. It makes it feel that bit more special. This stems, I think, from where I went to school. Biros were frowned upon and from about the age of nine we were all using fountain pens. We even had lessons in penmanship and handwriting, not that they really made much of an impression on me as can be seen from my habitual scrawl.

All my young life I hankered for a proper fountain pen, not one of the scuzzy £3.99 ones you picked up in WHSmith’s in packs of five that leaked as soon as you looked at them and had all the joy to hold of a knobbly carrot. I have distinct memories of sitting in Mr Staple’s class (that was Year C, so I was 10/11) and having three fountain pens in my pencil case to choose from.

One was the scratchy icky WHSmith one. This one I tended to use in Maths were you needed to know the numbers wouldn’t blur into each other. The only plus side of these pens was that with the small ink cartridges you could store a spare in the top of the barrel (and collect the little ball things inside).

Of the other two, a white Schaeffer was my day to day pen. The nib was slightly thicker and it rarely let me down. The third was a basic Parker which could again be relied upon not to let me down. Sometimes I would use it in preference to the Schaeffer, but normally I just kept it around for those times when I’d run out of Schaeffer ink – that was the one down side of the Schaeffer – the ink cartridge was an odd shape/size and no one else in my class had a Schaeffer so there was no one to cadge a cartridge off if necessary. I also had a red Schaeffer before the white, but Jordan Lacy borrowed it one day and bent the nib, so it never wrote nicely for me ever again. That’s when I learnt that everyone has a different way of writing and, through use, the nib of a fountain pen bends slightly to reflect that style. If someone else then uses the pen for any length of time the nib can get bent a bit differently, ruining it for the first person.

It may seem silly, but a fountain pen is a very personal thing. A good pen is like a trusted friend and should be treated with love and respect. I was very chary, after that, in lending out my pen.

When I was fifteen I got a proper Parker fountain pen for my birthday (Mum was going to make me wait till my sixteenth but I can be very persuasive and annoying when I want something). It was, still is in fact, brushed steel with little gold accents round the rim and clip. The nib is perfect – neither too thick or too thin – and the ink flows with reassuring constancy. It rarely oozes ink over my fingers, has the perfect balance in my hand, and it is a pen I treasure to this day.

I found myself using the pen today to write an essay. To do so I had to go digging in the draw to find a spare ink cartridge – got to be black – then wipe off the dried-on ink that spoke of my sad neglect of the past few months, before I could put pen literally to paper and marvel at the smooth flow of the words. I’d forgotten what a joy it can be to write, physically write, then look back over the words and go “I did that and it is good”.

A few years back I kept a journal that I wrote in most days – not every day, but most days – and when I finished it I looked back and had a warm glow of satisfaction that those words were mine. I wrote most of that in fountain pen. The next journal I started however I have never finished because the paper refused to take fountain pen ink. It just oozed into the cheap recycled paper and the words became illegible black splodges. The quintessential “spider fell into an ink pot and crawled over the page” look. Not nice, so I had to write in biro in that journal, and it just wasn’t the same. Biro has it’s place to be sure, but somehow journals need to be more special.

More grown up.

Yes, even aged 24, I still feel more ‘grown up’ and adult when I write with a fountain pen. One of my many adorable little quirks.

However, much though I love my fountain pen, it wasn’t very expensive – £25 is the figure I remember, a lot for a fifteen year old kid to use and quite possibly loose, but not in the grand scheme of things – and I find myself lusting after the fancy-pants luxury writing instruments. Yes, that’s right. When a pen is this posh it’s no longer even called a pen. Nor does it have a price tag listed on the website (a sure sign it’s time to rob a bank or sell a kidney). I want an heirloom pen, something like the one my grandad used to use, or my dad uses when he remembers to get ink.

I want a pen I can take out of my jacket pocket/handbag/filo-fax at a meeting to jot down my number on the back of a business card, and for someone to go “OH! That’s a lovely pen…!” If I could go “Oh, this old thing? It’s just a Mont Blanc…” in that casual, off hand, cool as cucumber Hepburn way even better. Well, a girl can dream, can’t she? I’m not a child of the late 80’s/early 90’s, oh no.

I don’t wear designer clothes or sun glasses. I don’t have a St. Tropez tan. I don’t iron my hair straight every day. I have curves enough for ten Nicole Ritchie’s. But something in me hankers for the status symbol of a good fountain pen.

I doubt any one else even notices what people write with but I do.

Yes, I need help. And handwriting lessons. But don’t they say that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards curing the problem?

Sunday Roast: time for killer mushroom roulette

First off my heart felt apologies to anyone who has had the misfortune of trying to get hold of me the last two/three weeks. I’ve been even worse than normal due to a larger-than-usual workload. Any one who managed to get even one email/phone call/text out of me is a lucky sod indeed. All the rest of you – the good news is that the main time-eater ends on Wednesday, then I’m pootling back to the Homestead that weekend to recharge my batteries, and expect to be back to my usual effervescent self from the 6th of November.

Till then, please remember – it’s my sheer scattiness and email-dodging skills that make you all love me so much, right? 😉

From what I’ve seen of Canada in person and on the TV, I think it’s a lovely place. Different enough to be, well, different, but with enough of a European feel to make it feel like ‘home’ at the same time. I never really thought of Montreal as a place to visit till lately, but it looks nice.

One of my minions has some news: JB got married! Congratulations and bon chance JB 🙂

Apparently Harrison Ford feels fit enough to play Indiana Jones in the fourth movie. Ok, so he’s well preserved I’ll give him that. It’s just that they’re thinking of bringing Sean Connery back as Indy’s father. I love the first three movies with all my heart and I think that Sean Connery was an inspired choice for Papa Indy, but seriously – the age gap was never very convincing in the first films. Now it is just going to be unbelievable. *grumble* *mutter about silly sequels ruining favourite movies* *grumble*

I’ll still go and see it when (if) it finally gets released though 😀

I was tidying up my inbox the other day and came across this little gem that kept us amused one day when we really didn’t want to make bus passes (oh, the joyous jobs I held as a temp). Go on, I challenge you all to draw a pig.

We all know I have trouble with brevity, so I admire those who can put across their meaning with the minimum of wordage. WIRED magazine asked sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers to take a shot at writing six word stories. These are the results. My favourite is Margaret Atwood’s “Longed for him. Got him. Shit.“.

I was going to include a six word story of my own on this post, but I drew a blank. Can you think of any?

We all fell in love with Moo cards when the first came out – now they’ve launched Skype MiniCards. Not sure if they’ve got any left, but they were dishing out free batches of ten again…

Well that’s the USA out as a holiday destination for me.

See, I’m not the only one who’s pants at corresponding. Writing, any writing, takes time and mental energy. I don’t like to dash emails off in a hurry, preferring instead to think things through – when you get an email from me it’s because I’ve taken the time to make sure it says what I really want it to say (well, a girl can try). Yes the delivery of an email might be more-or-less instantaneous, but that doesn’t mean you have to be careless with what you say.

That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

And to finish with the Sunday Funny: you have to ask yourself, geese (and penguins) may be evil, but what about the swans?

EDIT:
I was going to include the trailer for the Dixxy Chicks documentary “Shut Up And Sing” in the Roast, but Apple is saying ‘file not found’. The best I can do is link you to the main Weinstein Company page and suggest you watch it there. Sorry it has to be Flash.

I love my job

I love my job.

It’s not every day you get asked (very politely) by a gentleman if you would like to participate in a survey and inspect his instrument.

The poor dear looked very disappointed when I declined his kind offer.

As I said, I love my job – you meet some amazing people (along with the odder ones) and you are never sure what is going to happen next 😀

Riddle

I apologise to Bush supporters for the following.
Then again, you should be used to this kind of thing by now.

A Riddle

On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. He asked her, “How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?”

“That’s easy,” she replied, “You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors.”

“But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?” he inquired.

“You ask them a riddle,” she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, “Would you please send Tony Blair in.”

When Blair arrived, the Queen said, “I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?”

Blair replied, “That’s easy. The child was me.”

“Very good,” said the Queen, “You may go, now.”

So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his Vice President, Dick Chaney. He said to him, “I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?”

Chaney replied, “Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?”

“Yes,” said Bush, “I’ll give you four hours to come up with the answer.”

So Chaney went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.

As Chaney was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said, “Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?”

“That’s easy,” said Powell, “The child was me.”

“Oh thank you,” said Chaney, “You may just have saved me my job!”

So Chaney went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, “I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Colin Powell!”

“No, you idiot!” shouted Bush, “The child was Tony Blair!”

Sunday Roast: I like fluffy

I do hope you enjoy this week’s Roast – I enjoyed writing it, though I have to wonder why the blogging gods hate me so much. I have insane amounts of other things to do this weekend, so they conspire to give me oodles of roastable material. In the weeks when I am bored out my tiny little mind I get like three articles to write about. This week? Safari nearly collapses under the load of tabs I have open.

Clearly I haven’t been talking enough about penguins lately and they are punishing me.

Read and comment at your leisure. I am off to wrestle another couple of thousand lines of html. Shoot me. Now.

Run all you like… you cannot escape the T-Rex of Love!!

Ever mindful of my desire to leave the country and suspiciously eager to help, Moose used her arcane skills and found out that Taranaki was actively looking for people – they even had a job fair in Southampton! (which I found out about too late to go to 🙁 ) One job description that made me laugh was that of Mind Motivation Workshop Assistant. I can just see that conversation: “for yes, I am emigrating to New Zealand, to become a Mind Motivation Workshop Assistant”.

I don’t carry my laptop around with me any more but if I did, I would so love one of these cases! Fluffier and cuter by far than my current grey wetsuit material sleeve.

I know I’m a clutz, but at least I never stuck my elbow through a Picasso. Dingbat!

Longleat safari park (good place to visit btw) has a prosthetic wheel. Ah, the miracles of modern veterinary medicine. I wonder if the other tortoises bully her or try to steal her hub-cap whilst she’s sleeping?

(And as an aside, has anyone else noticed how tabloid-y the BBC News headlines are getting?)

Women of the future will have perfect breasts. Apparently. The whole study reads to me like the guy’s read too much Asimov (Caves of Steel, Robots of Dawn etc) and Wells. But perhaps he’s a genuine scientist. Doing an honest an unbiased study for Bravo. (If you can’t sense the sarcasm oozing from my keyboard then I’m clearly not as good a writer as I’d thought).

Pooey. I am never back home when the interesting things happen – my favourite author (Iain Banks) was at the Wells Festival of Literature recently. To be honest I wasn’t even aware Wells HAD a literature festival – with a truly horrendous website.

If you were ever looking at a way to get the crap kicked out of your child and to scar them for life, look no further. And yes, pun intended.

Another film that’s tickled my fancy this week – The Good German

Being the remarkably organized person that I am, one summer back when I was 14 or 15 I decided to list all the books I owned on a spreadsheet. Always one to do the job properly, I listed ISBNs as well. Now this spreadsheet has grown with me and now catalogues most of the 500+ books I own and that aren’t squirreled away in the loft somewhere. I say most, because I’ve been lax about updating it of late. I’ve tried other book cataloguing software – Delicious Library and Bookpedia for two – but the free versions of these limit the number you can import and I’m not anal enough to spend money on the software. I recently discovered LibraryThing however and was VERY impressed with their import feature – just select the spreadsheet and press upload. It finds the ISBN’s for itself, goes hunting Amazon and other places for itself, and then presents it all too you. Even with Delicious Library I had to tweak the spreadsheet slightly before I could import. Have a look at my books (and no sniggering, at least not in public). It says you can only import 200 books on the free version, but somehow it’s listed all that were on the spreadsheet. Sweet 😀

I ordered some more Moo Cards the other day (my 10 free excited me) and I *was* going to use them as business card type thingies, then I saw this idea of making Moo-gnets. Not sure our fridge has enough room left on it what with the alphabet letters and so on, but ooooooh! This is a great idea!

And lastly, don’t forget, 9rules round 5 is here on the 25th – if you’re wondering what membership might get you, David Seah has explained it all so I don’t have to. It really is all about the people.