Well it’s a good job I’ve got no plans to be snogging anyone any time soon. I just managed to burn my lower lip on a courgette (that’s a zucchini to you non-British people). Yes, I am that much of a clutz. Took a piece out of the steamer to check it was cooked and… pain. Whereas some people would then throw the offending vegetable away and vow never to have anything to do with the cucumber family ever again, I decided that I would eat the courgette with as much malice and spite as I could, just to get my revenge. There was hatred in my heart, and as I bit down, that courgette sure knew that it had messed with the wrong girl. And when I say ‘burn’, I mean burn. I now have a lovely blister forming. As I said, good job the CC is 3000 odd miles away the other side of the Atlantic really, isn’t it?

I’m starting to think I did something nasty to a fruit or a vegetable in a past life, and that they’re out to get me… Could really do with a piece of chocolate right now 😉

Why is fruit so heavy? Just got back from the shops with this weeks groceries – I swear the bags weighed twice as much as usual thanks to all the bloody fruit I’m now buying. Consequence – the five minute walk home took ten, and my arms feel like they’ve been the victim of some cruel and unusual torture device. This diet sucks! I was good and did take the stairs up to the flat though, regardless 🙂

Today, so far (it’s lunch time), has been remarkably healthy. The day started at the ungodly hour of 8.30 with a cup of tea and a banana, before Moose and myself dragged each other up to the gym. We even walked there and back! I dusted off the exercise plan that I got back at the end of August, hopped on the machines, and decided to teach my body who’s boss.

For my records, and your curiosity

• Weight: 82 kg, which is 10 kilos more than I was last time I went to the gym. Damn it! I put on more than I’d thought.
• Bike: Alpine pass; level 2; 15 minutes; 3.76 miles
• Rowing machine: 2500 m; level 6; 15.07.3 minutes

Next aerobic time it is the X-Trainer (and we all know how much I hate them), on Trail blazer, level 1, for 15 minutes, and the Rowing machine again.

I actually feel quite good right now – tired, but all exercised. Tomorrow, I am going to be in serious pain, I can tell. Well, next time I go to the gym, it’s all resistance, and predominantly on the arms, so my legs can have a rest. Ug. This whole health kick really is hard work!

If you care to look at this comment from JB, you will see a suggestion for a smoothie. Seeing no reason why not to, I tried it today on return from the gym, though with two bananas not three, and plain yoghurt. Verdict? Not bad, not bad at all. It needed… something… possibly another fruit alongside the banana, or a different yoghurt, and I’m not totally sold on the idea of drinking my breakfast (I like to get my teeth into something), but it’s early days yet. Experimenting is half the fun 🙂

Right, I’m now off to undergo the unique torture that is trying to find a swimsuit. Fun :S

Day One of the “you will eat a freakishly large amount of fruit for breakfast” diet.
For breakfast today: one banana, one clementine, one golden delicious.

First impressions? Do I eat this with a spoon, with a fork, with my fingers, with chopsticks?! What’s good form? I’m currently in a no-mans land between fork and fingers. Mainly because I am surfing at the same time and I don’t want to get the keyboard all mussy.

I actually quite like banana. I have held off eating them for years – ever since I was old enough to be allowed an opinion about what I ate – for the simple reason that I can’t bite into a whole banana without gagging. There is a reason for this slightly bizarre response. When much, much younger, there was a rule in our house that you had to clear your plate before you left the table. After several tearful altercations between Baby Cas and Curly Durly, it was deemed less hassle for all if Baby Cas wasn’t forced to eat bananas. The people that tell you your childhood can’t scar you for life are lying. Ever since then, it’s been a pavlovian response – deep in my brain, something goes “Ack, banana! We don’t want this!” I have decided however that, approaching my mid twenties, I really need to get over myself, so when I braved the greengrocers yesterday, a bunch of bananas were forced into my basket. I can’t quite face munching on a whole banana yet, but chopped up they are actually rather pleasant, and go surprisingly well with clementine.

Conversely, I do not like golden delicious apples. Apples as a whole are another fruit I have had troubled relationships with in the past. I expect most kids who had braces growing up feel much the same way. I have vivid memories of the time I bit into an apple and felt my teeth move a little bit… Even though my teeth are now all shiny and straight (with not a single filling I am proud to reveal) and have no marked tendency to wobble, I still baulk at chomping on a whole apple a la Eve. So they are also sliced up into the bowl. Not liking golden delicious though. They seem a bit floury with no real taste. Good thing I only bought a handful – what variety should I try next?

Whether this lot will keep me going till lunch remains to be seen. Two pieces of toast used to do the trick, but I’ve just finished the bowl and don’t exactly feel full :S

Well, it’s an experience, if nothing else 🙂

I made the rather unpleasant discovery the other day that the past three months of a totally sedentary lifestyle, leaving the flat only to go grocery shopping and occasionally to the cinema, and regularly eating chocolate and biscuits, have had a detrimental affect on my waistline.

Long term readers of the blog might recall my gym exploits of 2005. Well, I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t stepped foot in the gym since the middle of September when the whole thesis issue started to go down the pan. I haven’t even renewed my membership which lapsed in October.

*hangs head in shame*

Now, I haven’t completely lost all the ground I had gained in the first three quarters of 2005, but there has been definite slippage. I hadn’t realised/admitted this till I tried on my favourite (only) dress the other day and, whilst it still fitted, had to face a few bulges where previously bulges had been eliminated. Said weight gain would also explain the slight (but noticeable) cleavage increase, which means that, once again, expensive bras that fitted when purchased six months ago, no longer fit quite as well. Whilst there haven’t been any complaints about bigger breasts, I can’t afford new and roomier enclosures for the animals, so drastic measures need to be taken.

Time, I feel, to face facts and admit that I am lazy bum who needs to shed a few pounds. To this end, I have decided the only way to do this is to name and shame. The way I figure it, if I publically humiliate myself on this blog, it will give me that added impetus to actually stick to the plan.

Part one of the plan went into action today. See the basket of fruit picture at the top of the post? That’s what my new and healthy breakfast will consist of.

The following are my commandments. Whilst death will not follow if I do not follow them, disappointment in my self will, and I hate myself enough already thank you very much!

• I will resist the temptation to buy chocolate, biscuits, ice cream, and other snack foods from the supermarket, on the principle that, if it’s not in the house, I can’t eat it (I have no self control).
• I will eat a proper lunch and not snack between meals.
• If I really want to snack, I’ll have a cup of tea.
• If a cup of tea doesn’t do the trick, then I will eat a piece of fruit. I am not starving, even though my stomach might feel like my throat has been cut.
• At the same time, I will not starve myself, and will eat sensibly. Not eating leads to low blood sugar, which leads to Cas randomly fainting, which leads to much embarrassment and unnecessary trips to A&E.
• I will take the time and actually cook proper meals in the evening (with fresh vegetables).
• I will go to the gym three times a week, minimum and (when I have bought a costume) go swimming regularly.
• I will only take the lift up to the flat when I am in danger of bodily harm if I climb the stairs. Such circumstances include when carrying heavy items such as furniture. They do not include when I am feeling a bit tired after a hard days shopping or my legs feel a bit wobbly when I’ve come back from the gym.
• I will not buy any new clothes till I can once again wear my one dress and not see bulges.
• I will post regular updates on the blog. Not because I think my readers are interested, but because if I don’t and fail in my goals, Moose and the CC are the only ones going to be looking disapprovingly at me, and they no longer scare me.

I will make one more thing clear – my goal is to tone up, not to loose x number of pounds. I am never going to be skinny, I’m just not built that way, but the curves I do have need to be tamed some. With this ‘get fit’ goal in mind, not the ‘loose weight’ goal, I am aiming to do the Race for Life again this year and to run most of it, rather than fast-walk with short bursts of running like I did last year.

Oh, one last commandment:
I will not arbitrarily stop this program when I think I’ve got back to where I was in early September, I will keep going.

You, my blog minions, are here-by drafted to be my Diet Nazi’s and cheerleaders. Wish me luck!